Imagine the scene. A teddy bear was sitting at the bar minding his business, when a pirate burst through the door. Two pirates actually, but who’s counting? He played it cool, nursing his drink and acting like everything was normal. It didn’t work. They spotted him and before he could react they had him locked in … a kiss. He was lucky to escape with his dignity.

No, this is not a joke. And I’m not making it up either. A few years ago I was sitting at a hotel bar in Riga, Latvia, when a pirate couple walked in. Now don’t get me wrong. A pirate couple is not nearly as frightening as a couple of pirates. But it isn’t what you expect to see on your typical business trip. And you certainly don’t expect them to start fawning over your trusty teddy bear traveling companion. But that’s the kind of thing that happened to me all the time when I traveled with Bernard.